I Always Tried to Hide My Background...

Growing up with immigrant parents, my biggest fear was having my close acquaintances, especially those with parents who could speak English, meet my parents. I know this is a terrible thing to be ashamed of, but I couldn’t help but feel like I needed to “belong.” I felt like if my friends met my parents, I would be judged, or worse, pitied.

In middle school, I demanded that I get a brown bag with a sandwich for lunch instead of dumplings. Every time I opened my school bag with dumplings in it, I was immediately conscious of the smell and how my friends would react. In retrospect, I feel like I wasted so much time trying to hide my “differences” that I missed an opportunity to have a fun, stress-free middle school experience. I should’ve made friends who made me feel like I didn’t have to hide anything rather than chasing people who made me want to feel accepted.

Growing up with immigrant parents affects your life at home as it does your life outside your family. It can make you feel like you’re always one step behind your classmates and colleagues. It could make you feel like you lack certain cultural competencies that come so naturally to other people.

In a way, these are all true. We do lack the connections and resources that other families take for granted.